Today I held my first closing of the bones ceremony.
What is this, you may ask?
Closing of the Bones is commonly linked to Mexican postpartum tradition, but after reading Rachelle Garcia Seliga, Innate traditions blog post, it is revealed that this practice has origins in Russia and Morocco to name a few. Even the rebozo, the shawl used in the Closing of Bones arrived in Mexico with the Spaniards via the Arabs.
One theme runs commonly throughout, material is used to draw the bones together.
Why?
When a woman gives birth, all layers of her being expand to open the portal to bring life into the world.
In these moments her physical body experiences physiological changes to accommodate the literal expansion, but this isn’t where it ends.
The mother is wide open and the veil is lifted so all can be seen. She may experience past memories from her own life or from her ancestral line, she may retrieve wisdom and insights to support her awakening and life journey, she may witness her deepest fears.
Each experience is unique to each mother and each birth.
This is not something to be overlooked.
Where have these healing traditions gone?
That morning as prepared from the ceremony, cleansing my body in the shower and tuning in to my dear friend.
I felt a fear arise…
How could I offer this as a gift, I had never practiced this before?
I have studied postpartum care and recently tuned into Brienne’s workshop at the online matriarch rising festival, but in those moments I doubted myself.
Why?
I’ve been brought up in a world where it’s said that you need qualifications to do everything and anything and without them you are less than!
That was the day I saw clearly where I held a deluded idea of self worth being linked to the amount of certificates I had.
Did I trust myself to tune into my own intuition and the messages coming from my friends body?…. YES
I arrived at my dear friend’s house, with Auraya, and we began to prepare the space together.
It was so perfect to create this together and knowing that this was exactly how she wanted it.
I asked her what music she would like, what color shawls she would prefer, incense, drumming…etc etc
I told her to raise her hand if it was too much and to communicate if there was something she needed.
This was a unique creation.
This was a crossing over where I had the privilege to whiteness my beautiful friend transition.
Auraya wanted to be close to me and insisted she stayed with us instead of with the men downstairs… of course
It wasn’t what we expected, the opening song was Daniel Tiger singing ‘our family is together’ AND it was perfect.
Our family was together.
I let my body melt and tuned into my dear friend.
I had words prepared but words didn’t feel right in these moments.
In my mind I spoke,
“Dear sister, I see you. From maiden to mother, you transition.
Dear maiden, I see you. Your curiosity, inspiration and purity is always welcome.
You are an important part of this journey.
Dear mother, I see you. You are a channel for life. You nourish a beautiful baby boy. You are made for each other. You are everything he needs.
You are seen. You are loved
Allow yourself to be nourished and recharged
To close the open doors and windows so you can be in an abundance of energy.
You are precious. You have given the ultimate gift to this earth.
Let the thoughts melt and your connection to truth illuminate,
We are always together, as sisters.
I love you”
I knew she could hear me, I felt it and I witnessed it in the depth of her breaths.
‘May I have permission to hold you’ I said telepathically
I began at her head, with this intention to quieten her sense for her to go inwards.
Next, her chest, thanking her breast’s and her heart for nourishing her baby. I held the scarf on either side, took a deep squat position and sway her body side to side (this I did for each area)
Next, her hips, the blanket under her stomach had moved and it felt right to leave it this way. I could see her stomach soften and I placed my hand there for a few moments to love this space. Drawing the scarf up, I lent back to release her lower back and then again swayed. Thank you, my dear friend, it’s time to be hugged. In These areas I pulled the tightest and rested with her womb for some moments, breathing deeply.
Next, two scarfs wrapped her legs and finally her feet. Thank you to the earth for holding my friend, for nourishing her.
I thought about a massage in the beginning but something told me to be with her energetic body. I felt the energy radiate from her body and I didn’t push into it, I let her know I was witnessing her as she was, nothing needed to change.
Next, I welcomed my drum and sang a song I recently learnt from Brienne. The earth, the wind the fire the water return, return, return, return.
Outside, the wind came, next the rain and finally the thunder.
Auraya sat peacefully and even placed her little foot in my friend's hand at one point.
When it was time to unravel, I moved to her feet and sat with my friend, just to be together. I see you.
Each scarf was unraveled so gently. With time to breath before I moved on.
When I reached her head, I placed my hands on her and again held the space for everything that was.
I pulled a tarot and it was the 8 swords, have you seen this card? A woman wrapped in scarfs, I could hardly believe it!
“The deep message from this card is as written beaufully by biddy tarot:
The Eight of Swords shows a woman bound and blindfolded. Eight swords surround her, seemingly trapping her in place, a symbol of the limiting thoughts, beliefs and mindset that prevent her from moving forward in her life. However, look closer: if the woman removed her blindfold, she would quickly realise that she can escape her predicament by letting go of her limiting beliefs and establishing a new, more empowered mindset. The water pooled at her feet suggests that her intuition might see what her eyes cannot.”
Slowly she came back, and we shared beautiful moments.
It was an unforgettable experience for me and one I hold with much gratitude.
Thank you to my dear sisters who shared this wisdom to support me in supporting my community.
I am grateful
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