It's a common human trait to want to fix things, especially when it comes to our relationships with others. We hear someone share their story, and we immediately jump in with advice, suggestions, or even criticism. But what if we took a step back and simply listened without trying to fix or change anything? This can be a powerful practice that can transform the way we relate to others.
Before we start practicing this with others, it's important to start with ourselves.
*One of my favourite meditation practice is Yoga Nidra to meet all the layers of myself and gentle observe. We have an event on Wed 29th March @10am PST, this is one of our weekly live gatherings this month. RSVP here*
We all have thoughts that keep looping around in our minds, some of which may be dark, intrusive, or fear-based. We may even believe these thoughts are a part of us. But what if we stopped and simply listened to them without trying to own them or judge them?
The practice of observing our thoughts without judgment is called mindfulness. It involves choosing to watch our thoughts, noticing how they affect our body, and bringing our attention back to the present moment.
We can start by taking a few minutes in the day to sit and observe our thoughts of something arises or schedule a 10-15 minute block of time specifically for this practice.
When we become more skilled at this practice, it becomes easier to extend it to others. Our minds are conditioned to support our survival, and our beliefs shape the way we perceive the world. By sitting and listening to someone without judgment or trying to fix anything, we are allowing them to share their story and allowing ourselves to be present with them.
But what happens when our minds start screaming at us to fix things or take action when we are listening?
We can be honest and say that things are arising within us, and we want to be fully present with them. We can take a deep breath, feel our body, and come back to the present moment.
Conscious listening is not only a great practice, it is the foundation of reconnecting to the people in our lives on a deeper level. It allows us to let go of the need to always have a comeback or to remove someone's suffering.
If you're thinking, well what can I say after they've finished. Take a moment to receive and feel gratitude that they feel comfortable and safe to share with you. You may want to acknowledge their story with a simple "I am with you, how can I best support you?"
This simple question can open up a space for someone to explore what needs they may have, maybe they want to hear something from your own experience, or may be want you to reflect what they have told you back to them, maybe nothing at all.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope this serves you.
Blessings,
Danielle
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